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Helping the Children in a Blended Family

I am exposed to so many conversations regarding the trials and tribulations of blended families.  As a caring and loving grandparent, I have been searching for some answers.  Through my many internet searches, I have discovered these Children's Bill of Rights.  If your family is experiencing these challenges, please read this over with an open mind and heart.  Each child is special and each situation is different, try to look at things from your child's point of view.   It's not hard, just take a little time to listen to your child.  My brother-in-law Gary said it best when he said "Know your twerp" regarding his granddaughter Melissa, who he loves with all his heart.  If you prepare yourself and know what to expect from your child you can quickly end almost any unpleasant situation.  Actually this also works well on husbands, wives, and most other adults in your life;)  I know it is isn't easy, but these children need our help dealing with their very special needs.  If you are trying to make an important decision concerning your child, please remember that it does not matter how the adults feel, what matters is how your child feels.

1. The right to be treated as important human beings, with unique feelings, ideas and desires and not as a source of argument between parents.
2. The right to a sense of security and belonging derived from a loving and nurturing environment which shelters them from harm.
3. The right to a continuing relationship with both parents and the freedom to receive love from and express love for both.
4. The right to "listening" parents.
5. The right to express love and affection for each parent without having to stifle that love because of fear of disapproval by the other parent.
6. The right to grow and flourish in an atmosphere free of exploitation, abuse and neglect.
7. The right to know that their parents' decision to divorce is not their responsibility and that they will still be able to live with each parent.
8. The right to continuing care and guidance from both parents where they can be educated in mind, nourished in spirit, and developed in body, in an environment of unconditional love.
9. The right to honest answers to questions about changing family relationships.
10. The right to know and appreciate what is good in each parent without one parent degrading the other.
11. The right to have a relaxed, secure relationship with both parents without being placed in a position to manipulate one parent against the other.
12. The right to have one parent not undermine time with the other parent by suggesting tempting alternatives or by threatening to withhold activities with the other parents as a punishment for the children's wrongdoing.
13. The right to be able to experience regular and consistent parental contact and the right to know the reason for not having regular contact.
14. The right to be a kid and to be insulated from the conflict and problems of parents.
15. The right to be taught, according to their developmental levels, to understand values, to assume responsibility for their actions, and to cope with the just consequences of their choices.
16. The right to be able to participate in their own destiny.

Ratify these rights for your children and you will give them better protection than any law could ever provide.

Please help our kids here in Hampton Roads VA.  Visit homesforkids.org - "Raising hope one family at a time."